Monday, January 31, 2005

The Beginning...

Woah hoho... Juz thought of writing this as a sort of mood(inclusive of depression and euphoria) check or sth like this... Things that i wanna record will go into the other blog. So far, this morn, i guess i was moody for most of the morning. But i realized it only after Amanda mentioned it, she was like saying, "u are really moody today." And i was like, "really?" and then i thought, yah, i think so too. So i relate that to my almost being late for school. The power of unconscious emotions is really unbelievable, according to this psychology book, "Emotional Revolution" i'm currently reading abt. But it's 4 plus now and i'm glad that i'm happier now. Pam is with me in the com lab too hee hee...

Bla bla, i really wanna say Mike Anus is a rock star!!! It's only after that day that she's not thr at work with me, then did i realize hw much i actually depend on her. In the past, i admit i patronise her sometimes, but i'm never gonna do it ever again because i really treasure her. Knowin that she's always there for me juz comforts me. So, i'm not sayin i dun treasure my other frens, but i always hold this ideology that different frens are special to u in different ways, like Synn, she never fails to cheer me up and knows when i'm moody plus we can discuss abt pple now. Notice why i say "now", that's cos we dun really haf the same ideas in the past and that's why i resented discussin' abt pple with her at times in the past. So i'm really happy things haf turned out in this way. Pam is someone u can bimbo with and that cheers me up. Tyr is sum1 i turn to for advice more often in the past, it's now that we see each other more often and sumtimes haf differences during work that we're not as close as b4, but i'm happy that we still see each other and i'm confident things will work out eventually. Well, xiaoxia is 1 whom i can talk crap with, cos she's really full of shit and crap haha. *soz xiaoxia* well, the rest of my frens are pple whom i haven been in touch with for quite some time so i'd rather wait for future memories together before talking more abt them... But they will always remain in my heart as i rmb them forever...

Plus, my insecurities abt *toot*. Ever since the more recent fone calls, i felt that we're juz plain acquaintances. The pen-pal feeling, the spcl feeling is not thr, so i guess i get sad by it too and it has affected me in some way. So i've gotta try to get that fire of frenship or wadever relationship thr is to burn again. Thanks for Mike. A, she made me feel better and i guess this will be a blog where i pay tribute to the pple who haf made a difference in my life. Though i'm not that satisfied with the idea that i put "styleillusions" as my blog address, but it's really cos all my previous ideas din get approved. So damn that thing!!! But, well, anger though justified still causes harm, so i'm gonna let it go and not be angry after all. All these words of wisdom come from the book "Emotional Revolution".

One last thing, pple who've helped me feel welcome in school include Amanda, Esther, Lydia, Cheryl, Liming, Man Hui, all my classmates n even some pple who've had juz brief encounters with me, they make me feel that i'm nt alone. So thank you pple and dun blame me if i fail to mention ur name here k!!!